Hey Warriors,
Let’s have a chat about body image.
I just had Miss Missouri Winter Workshop yesterday and with all the excitement, happiness, and preparedness I felt, I can’t help but be left with some feelings of insecurity surrounding body image.
I want to emphasize how normal this is, especially in the process that is competing for any pageant-related competition. Winter Workshop is the first time candidates are all in one place at the same time learning about the upcoming state competition and how to prepare to be successful. Women want to dress their best, feel their best, and show up looking and acting like the next state titleholder. Biiiiig pressure mixed in with a fun day - and don’t get me wrong, it IS fun!
One of the guest speakers we had has been a judge in the past and was emphasizing that the “look” is very important. The judges need to look at you onstage and know that you worked hard. He also said that your body needs to be “Miss America ready” and when you looked at the competition this year, there weren’t any girls who weren’t thin. When you look at the top five they are all thin women and the difference between winning and losing is being in a thin body.
I understand the sentiment, really I do. It is important for the titleholder to be healthy and have a high level of physical fitness so she can carry out the role of the job and have energy for long days of travel, appearances, and activities. However, healthy doesn’t have a particular look, and I’m tired of people using health as a way to say they want someone who is thin and petite.
I don’t need to be thin to do a great job as Miss Missouri, point blank. What matters is the level of my health to do the job. It has absolutely nothing to do with my size or how my body looks. I am healthy, fit, active, and that is what is needed to be Miss Missouri. I can fit in the sponsored gowns, I can look cute in sponsored outfits, and I can look amazing in photo shoots if that’s a worry at all.
If anything, being Miss Missouri at my size is relatable. I’m the girl next door, hard working student, on the go girl, titleholder extraordinaire. It is realistic that I fit in my workouts during the week when I can, I prep meals when I can, and I take care of my health. (I’m acting like I’m huge, but we all know I’m my own harshest critic and I’m not that big compared to the other women I compete with).
I’m sick and tired of playing into the narrative that being larger puts me at a disadvantage. I’m not a size 2 and I probably never will be, and instead of hating my body and wanting to change it, I know it does soooo much for me and I’m grateful for it. My thighs are thick and muscular, allowing me to lift heavy items and support the rest of my body. My calves are round and muscular, showing how much I’ve walked and will continue to walk. My shoulders are broad and strong, demonstrating the heavy items I’ve carried but also those who have leaned on me for support. My core is strong from all the planks I do at Pure Barre and Central Studio and the years of physical therapy for my spine injury from a cheer accident. I have way more important things to worry about than trying to shrink myself and conform to a standard that I simply don’t want to. I am enough the way I am.
You genuinely cannot tell my level of fitness or health by looking at me in activewear. You just can’t. You can make a guess technically, but you don’t see my vitals, my lab work, my doctors appointments, and my daily routine. My body is larger because I battle an autoimmune disease and several genetic disorders that have ZERO to do with my lifestyle. Hypothyroidism makes it challenging to lose weight due to a slowing of the metabolism. High cortisol levels from trauma also make my body store fat. These have no bearing on how I do the job. I’m already doing the job at the local level. I’ve been doing the job for six years.
I already have what it takes to be Miss Missouri and Miss America. I’m done trying to change my body and create unhealthy habits to fit a mold of what I think is expected of me. I am enough just the way I am and if a judge doesn’t choose me to represent our state simply because my body isn’t appealing to them, I probably don’t want to value their opinion of me anyway.
It’s time we scrap the narrative of thin bodies equaling healthy and fat bodies equaling unhealthy. You don’t know my journey and you don’t know my health status.
I’m ready to be Miss Missouri and I’m ready to show every person that doubted me because of my weight that I am the girl for the job regardless of the size label on my dress.
Comments