It’s taken several years for me to recognize that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some people only celebrate the good and disappear for the bad, and vice versa. When you find someone who validates you as a human, is there for every win and loss, and remembers the little things about you, that’s how you know you’ve succeeded at finding a real friend.
Friendship isn’t easy these days, and well frankly, it’s never been easy for me. I feel like as women we are brought up to see other women as competition or a threat, that other women are the enemy. I never wanted it to be that way. I always looked for equals, individuals who knew their identity and weren’t threatened by mine. To this day it is incredibly hard to find that. Despite so much heartbreak and disappointment, I’ve kept going and I don’t think I’ll ever give up.
I’ve been part of the “squad”, the clique of girls, the cool crowd, whatever you want to call it. The one that looks glamorous from the outside and that you just gawk at, praying to be part of. Let me tell you, it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Someone is the odd man out each week and someone is always hurt. After my awful experience, I vowed to never be part of one of these again. So many people find their “friend groups” or their “tribe” and that is the new trend. I don’t have that and I’ve had to come to terms with that. It’s made me realize that I don’t need that. I have friends in so many different places and that is special to me. Having a few close friends is way more important than having a friend group in my humble opinion.
I have so many best friends, all in different areas of my life. There are days where I cry in my bed because I feel so lonely, most days I enjoy my alone time and my own company, and then there are days when I feel like I am surrounded by friends! There are people who have never left my side and probably won’t ever (you know who you are).
Moral of the story is friendship comes from all different places and in all different forms, but you should never have to compromise your values in order to keep a friend…because is that even a friend?
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