If you or someone you love has ever been bullied, I know you frequently ask yourself the question of “why do people bully”. It just doesn’t make any sense. I’m going to tell you something that may blow your mind: being bullied has nothing to do with you. Read that again.
As a bullying warrior (I refer to myself as this instead of “victim”, because I am doing so much more to fight the cause than just succumbing to the title of victim), I have found myself in situations where I wonder if I am at fault for what is happening to me. The truth is, people bully because they see something in you that they wish they had. Something about you makes them look inward and realize they hate themselves. If you didn’t know, my Social Impact Initiative for Miss America is called “The M.I.R.R.O.R: A Reflection on Bullying and Suicide Prevention. Yes, my guiding principle and tagline if you will is helping others look into the mirror to recognize their inner strength and harness their inner warrior. What most people don’t know is that there’s so much more to it.
The mirror symbolizes our inner selves, and although we only see our outward appearance, it is my goal to help others see their amazing strength and inner qualities when looking into the mirror. I want my Warriors to be able to look past the superficial and see all of the power they hold, not limited to standing up to bullies and not letting it rock them.
The mirror is also symbolic for growth and reflection. My program is designed for bully victims, but of course I didn’t forget about the bullies themselves. The mirror is for them too. When I present to schools and community groups for example, I don’t just talk about what victims can do to help themselves and help others, I get deep into the mind of a bully. I help bullies recognize their unhealthy patterns, reflect on their deeply rooted reasons for bullying (usually it is something self driven and has no correlation to a specific individual), and work with them to change and evolve, and finally, switch to the side of power and become an advocate for bully prevention. Some students have their eyes opened and they realize that they are bullies or engage in bully behavior. I’ve had such amazing feedback from students I’ve spoken to that they recognized their bully patterns because of my lesson and have transformed into bullying prevention warriors themselves. THAT is what the mirror and Kaycee’s Warriors represents, there is so much more than meets the eye.
So when I tell you that being bullied is usually never about you, believe me. I start with these kids at a young age because I want them to stop the pattern. I have seen way too many people grow up, continuing their negative bully behavior and eventually morph into adult bullies (which my next blog is about, and believe me I’ve faced many). My program and initiative truly is bullying prevention. I will build a society where children feel safer when going to school, around their peers, in public, on social media, and with adults.
Watch me.
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