Hi Warriors!
Happy July :) I can’t believe we are already over halfway done with 2022. It feels like the year just started but also at the same time it feels like January was ages ago.
I felt it was time to jump on with a long awaited Warrior blog post, even though I originally committed to doing these weekly. I really want to continue with a weekly post so I will try my hardest to write and upload for those who look forward to these or need a good read! I am currently serving as a Residential Assistant at Northwestern University for the Center for Talent Development academic summer camp. Currently, all of my time goes into taking care of these middle schoolers and sharing these exact ideas and lessons with them.
Today’s blog post is all about the beginning of my journey. You may be thinking “Which journey, Kaycee? You kind of do a lot.” While that statement is definitely valid (and true), I wanted to share the story that many of you already know. How I am where I am today and why I am here today. All of which include: The pain. The struggle. The loneliness. The fear. The tormenting. The bullying. But instead of focusing on what happened to me, I want to highlight: The overcoming. The advocacy. The resilience. The hero. The WARRIOR.
If you would have asked me six years ago if I would publicize my story for the world to see, I probably would have laughed (or cried). Even three years ago, I had trouble owning my reality, let alone sharing it with strangers. I’ve seen so much growth in the acceptance of my story and the recognition that the reason I share is not for me. It is for educators and administrators to see what transpired in several school environments and recognize how they can prevent this happening again in their schools. It is for parents and guardians to know warning signs and intervene in their child’s experience before it becomes too late. It is for community members to objectively know what to do when this happens around them and how to take action. It is for bystanders to know when to take action. It is for bullies to see their patterns and how their actions are detrimental to those around them. Most importantly, it is for the victims who go through what I did every single day. It is for them to recognize their inner warrior so they do not have to endure the pain and struggle that I did. It is for those who for a second think that going through adversity means they cannot live a beautiful life. It is for you.
Sharing your story can seem like something selfish. It is the most selfless thing I have ever done and will continue to do until bully victims gain strength to share their stories, too.
My story begins on January 24th, 2017, during the second semester of my freshman year of high school. I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time when I exited a restroom where students were participating in illegal activities. I was falsely accused of “snitching” on these individuals, and later, I was chased by a mob of 400+ students who wanted to kill me. The school went into lockdown and I sought cover beneath a teacher’s desk, the only place I could hide from hundreds of my tormentors. An upperclassman who was (and still is) a mentor of mine rushed to the classroom where I was located. He piled desks in front of the door so none of my attackers were able to reach me. The teacher called the police and I was escorted to a safe room in the office by 2 police officers. The administrators at the high school did not feel they could keep me safe; therefore, I was forced to start over at a new school, with my wrongfully negative reputation trailing behind me. The title “snitch” has followed me for six years now due to the social media explosion that followed, and I am still harassed in public when recognized. The rumor mill continued to spread and suddenly the accusations turned more and more grandiose and became out of control. The constant effort to clear my name was useless. My peers believed what they wanted to believe, and I was stuck with a reputation that wasn’t mine. Confused as to why this was occurring, I kept telling myself that there must be a reason and a lesson in this. To say that this experience affected me would be a vast understatement. Each day was a battle filled with extreme fear, loneliness, and self doubt. My poor reputation followed me to each new school where I had hopes of getting a fresh start, but I found myself hiding and feeling ashamed to be “the snitch,” even though I knew in my heart I was not.
I fought through not only obvious social challenges, but academic ones as well. Switching schools constantly and having to grasp new curriculum frequently took a toll on me as I began to discover gaps in my education. The main focus of my high school years was maintaining safety and comfort throughout the school day, rather than maintaining my high GPA. I spent the majority of my school day with my guidance counselor, social worker, the school nurse, and my teachers because I was unsafe and so anxious to be around my peers. My performance in school has always been a top priority of mine, but this traumatic event forced my plans askew; I had no idea if I would be able to make it through the rest of high school. Throughout the many obstacles I faced, many teachers, counselors, and peers suggested I just move to online school or graduate early so I did not have to deal with the bullying and I could just focus on my education; however, I made it my personal mission to not only finish high school, but to excel. After attending five different high schools, I am a proud graduate of Paradise Valley High School with a 4.0 GPA and earning the Outstanding Senior Award.
During those dark times, I spent most of my free time volunteering as a mentor at GiGi’s Playhouse, A Down Syndrome Achievement Center, because it was the only place I felt accepted and safe from harassment. Luck would have it, one of the other volunteers I worked with asked me if I would be interested in participating in the Miss Arizona Organization. I had no idea what this was and even felt a bit skeptical, but little did I know it would become a turning point in my life. I competed for a local title and was crowned as Miss Phoenix’s Outstanding Teen 2019, where I was able to take all of my pain and suffering and channel it into raising awareness for bullying and suicide prevention. This was the beginning of a journey that would give me the strength to turn my tragedy into triumph. (If you want a separate blog post about my journey in the Miss America system, let me know!)
I founded the support group Kaycee’s Warriors, a free training program for individuals who may be struggling with bullying, mental health, social interaction, self-esteem, and/or self-discovery. This was a response to the overwhelming number of students who shared with me that they were heading down an unsafe path. As the founder of Kaycee’s Warriors, I check in with my Warriors (mentees) over social media, run the Kaycee’s Warriors Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter pages and website, and speak to community groups such as Girl Scout troops and middle school populations to educate them about my initiative, what they can do to heal if they are being bullied, or what they can do to support bullying victims if they are not experiencing it themselves. I created the Purple Out, a national social media campaign encouraging all community members to post a photo of themselves wearing purple with a caption saying why they are happy to be alive, creating the initiative #NotAnOption, to demonstrate to the public that suicide is never an option for those who are suffering. I have involved others in the project by reaching out to school social workers, psychologists, and administrators and asking to present to different campus groups, clubs, and classes. I also started a club at Madison #1 Middle School that focuses on providing a space where students can be authentic and find the guidance they may need. However, the most important responsibility of my role as a mentor, role model, and friend is meeting with my Warriors, either in-person or through video chats. I specifically design curriculum for each Warrior depending on their individual needs. The training program is not generic; it comes from my heart and is tailored to help each mentee achieve their unique dreams. I compiled six steps for individuals to overcome bullying using the word “mirror,” because recognition and reflection are key factors in healing.
Muster - an individual is encouraged to look within and muster up courage to begin their healing journey.
Identify - to overcome bullying, one must identify that they are not at fault for what is happening.
Reach Out - reach out to safe adults or mentors.
Recover - one must take time to heal.
Overcome - one must put the past behind and become stronger than what happened.
Role Model - one must help others who are struggling and break the cycle of suicides.
Since its creation, Kaycee’s Warriors has had a vast impact nationally, specifically on the individuals who train in the program. It has been proven that the Warriors who are undergoing training have gained a mentor to count on, newfound friends who understand what they are going through, increased social awareness, improved moods and attitudes, a clear vision of success, improved confidence, and a variety of different bullying coping strategies. This program has also positively affected the community due to the presence of the Kaycee’s Warriors Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter pages. Many people who are not Warriors follow the social media accounts, which creates a strong community of bully victims and rallying supporters. After speaking with multiple schools and community groups, students have informed me that their school culture has drastically changed since my presentation. Because all students in the group hear the same presentation, they are able to use the skills I teach them to positively interact with one another and reach out if they see someone who is being bullied or if they are being bullied themselves. A long-term goal is that Warriors will reach the Role Model step of my M.I.R.R.O.R. steps through the Kaycee’s Warriors program. My hope is they will feel so empowered that they either choose to work with Kaycee’s Warriors as a mentor or even start their own support group to pass along all the knowledge they have gained to other bullying victims. Another significant goal is that Warriors will grow up to be prominent members of society, move past their struggles, and serve as change-makers in their communities.
Through building my initiative, I have learned that in order to help my Warriors and other members of the community, I need to be able to put my own struggles aside and be strong for the sake of others who need it more. However, I believe it is also okay to show vulnerability to my mentees, because an authentic mentor helps them see they are not alone. The students I work with have shown me what true strength looks like, and they have taught me how to be a role model and understand what others are going through. Through my work with Kaycee’s Warriors, I have discovered that using my personal story can help reach individuals who seem unreachable, and that in order to help other bullying victims, I need to be able to help myself first.
Watching my mentees overcome their obstacles is heartwarming to me because I wish when I was younger I had Kaycee’s Warriors to help me get through my pain. I am so humbled to know that my program is working and that my Warriors are succeeding. It has filled me with so much joy knowing that I am making a difference and that I have the potential to even save lives throughout the process. My work with Kaycee’s Warriors has helped me heal my own heart and remind me that I am not the horrible things that have happened to me.
This is my story of how I rose from rock bottom. This is my comeback, and this is my legacy.
XO,
Kaycee
I will always be an available resource and someone to reach out to. If you or a teen you know is in need of training and mentoring, please feel free to contact me!
See what I am up to on social media:
Kaycee’s Warriors Website: tinyurl.com/kayceeswarriors
Instagram: @kayceeswarriors and @kayceekrell
Facebook: Kaycee’s Warriors
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